I arrived here actually posting a little over 9 months ago now, and have caused a lot of things to happen since I've been here. Lots of changes, lots of developments - not least multiple minor releases of 1.1 (when I joined up, 1.1.8 was the main version, I think), plus 2.0 RC2, and it's been a heck of a ride.

But all good things must come to an end, and as they say, too much of a good thing is bad for you - and it's entirely true with SMF and me, and on this note I am announcing my retirement from the SMF team.

I've been finding it a little less fun lately - moderation has never been much of a strong point with me, I'm an all or nothing kinda guy, and that's why I've racked up an average of 3,000 posts per month since I started posting. But I can't keep on doing that.

I've found myself getting cross at things, that really I shouldn't be getting cross at. I've found myself having to rewrite posts where I can see the initial version is far too inflammatory as benefits a team member - or indeed a community member.

I've been running round being a one man army, it seems - on any given day I can account for up to 8-10% of all new posts forumwide. Which is too much for any one person to sustain, and on that note I'm slowing down as best I am able.

I'll still be around here - it's not like I'm disappearing off the face of the Earth. But I wouldn't expect to see me ploughing through Coding Discussion or Mod Requests, or spamming the mod site for a while.

Those who were aware of my intention before this team blog posting made it fairly clear that it would be a loss to the community - that's true of anyone leaving a community from what I suppose is a prominent position, and I can assure you all this isn't something taken very lightly. I guess it'll seem worse because I made such an impact in the last 9 months, far more than anyone - myself included - could ever have expected or dreamed of.

But Simple Machines is more than just one person, it's a team and the team are strong enough to carry on without me for a (possibly long) while. I have confidence in the team rising up to the challenge of carrying on with everything that needs to be done, and I think everyone will end up the better for it - they won't have to put up with my temper! As for me, a change really will be as good as a rest

For those wondering, I will be pursuing other interests - most importantly for now, SimpleDesk, a helpdesk mod/integration into SMF which I'm currently leading development of, and as such spending a lot more time there than here at the moment. As we move that towards 1.0, things may change, but not soon, I suspect.

Please don't attempt to PM me about this - expecting the worst, I have blocked all PMs because this is something I have to do and cannot let myself be swayed or seduced by other methods of taking a break. I need to take a step into the unknown and cast off everything I do not want or need and allow myself to return to the joy and freedom of coding for the fun of it.

With that, I diminish and pass into the grey, a friend of SMF evermore. Thank you and good night

shame you needed to stand down its a big loss to SMF and I hope the team realise that

Sucks to see SMF's #2 spammer leave

Best wishes Arantor!

Arantor

Rest well champ, you deserve it, and your reasons show your intelligence is not limited to your passion for code!!
Now.. at my present course, and providing you don't post anymore, I should overtake you on the posting range in approximately...
20 odd years!?!?! 
Luckily it's not one of my life ambitions

Have fun!! 

Gonna miss you Arantor. And I completely agree, you have contributed a lot to this community, and we have nothing but thank yous to give you. Good luck on your journey to where ever life takes you. I know where ever you go you will be quite content with yourself and the actions that lead you there.

Again, thanks for all your time spent to expand the SMF community. I'm sure everyone here appreciates that, I know I very much do.

Well Arantor, I have to say that over a period of time, on several occasions you have been great help to me. I thank you for that, and wish you well in what you do. May it be the right thing for you.

Your a SMF Champion.

you helped me a few times. For that, and all the other work you did for SMF, i thank you.

When it is no fun - that is a good time to quit !

If it's not fun it's not worth doing...

Thanks for the help you have given me. It is and has been much appreciated. Good luck on your new undertakings.

Best wishes mate. Sad to see you go grey, you do so much. Hope you will be back sometime soon

we  will miss you                 

Take care Arantor, and I wish you the best of luck in your life. It's sad to see you go, but if it's needed then it's needed. I have no idea what it's like for you so I can't say. But regardless, live life to the best and I for one can't wait to see SimpleDesk be released.

Thank you all for your kind words.

9 months is far too short a time to spend amongst such good people.

It's been a pleasure.

 

I like you Arantor, you have helped me with so many different issues, I couldn't name them all. You were one of the first SMF people to help me get through my noob mistakes.

I hope you don't stay away for too long. You will be sorely missed.

Best wishes.

Guess it's confession time.

Earlier today, I screwed up. I REALLY screwed up. The above burnout... I'm hurting, I'm hurting so bad inside it isn't funny - I actually considered breaking my own rules about alcohol - joys of being a recover(ing/ed) alcohol dependent. And in so doing I hurt a lot of people that I consider friends.

In the height of that I actually requested account deletion for the second time, fully intended never to return, then I get an email - not a PM since they were disabled - that amounted to a simultaneous slap round the face and kick in the nether regions. (If you've ever gotten terribly drunk, walked into something and emerged feeling stone cold sober, you'll probably understand)

So, I'm sort of back, sort of not. My signature says it all.

A quiet perfect word in the dead of night, worth more than any words in the heat of day, can quell even the hardest heart's ache.
A gentle word spoken with kindness can undo even the tightest knots of emotional pain.
And with but a quiet perfect word I undo the last of the heated utterances.
And with but a single gentle word, I say naught but apologies for the tightest knots of pain, and submit myself to judgement for the wrongs I have wraught; for no man is above judgement, for good or ill, or better or worse, and whence his time comes, he will receive what is due unto him.

The author of these words, J, has said many things in his time but this is I think the most profound thing he's ever said. And I can do nothing but quote it verbatim.


Edit: I'm probably going to regret this, but PMs re-enabled.

Well, All I can say is thanks for all the hard work you have put in here. I have learned a lot by just lurking the support threads. I have learned much from many others as well, but to see you leave would be a loss for many, not just to me.

I wish you all the best in whatever you are doing, and I am glad to see that you are not completely gone. 

Sorry to see you go Arantor.

You have contributed to a lot around here. And I know how you feel...

Hi Arantor, i don't really know you personally but i seen you around the forum and i have helped me on a few issues.

its quite sad to read this and see situation you have got into, and i think you have made the right decision to take a break.

There no point forcing yourself to do it if you are not enjoying it anymore, sometimes you have to put yourself first and not make SMF your priority.

I hope you can pull through this,

Maybe you can try and get back into things  you enjoyed in the past... RPGs? (i read your blog post before)

all the best mate

Arantor,
This is truly a sad day in SMF History   The Great Arantor is no more   I just want to say, that it has been an absolute pleasure reading your posts, and working with you on some occasions within posts, offering help and support.  I have learned so much from just reading your posts that I can't say this about just anyone.  It has been wonderful getting to know you here at SMF.  I remember when you first joined the team and I was so happy for you, felt like a part of me was on the team, even though it wasn't.  Well, ofcourse, we can all get burned out and say and/or do things we don't mean to say and/or do.  Nobody is Perfect ofcourse, thus the flaws that make us human.  It's still very sad to see you go, but glad to know that you will still be around here at SMF

Sincerely,
Solomon

Dear Arantor,

we never interracted with each other but every time since I've been back into posting here I've been aware of your contributions (lol, you spammer,  ). I've read many of your posts and you're a genuine helper, therefore it sucks to see you quit the team.
It seems that only the best of us, the truly talented persons are so hard on theirselves, and it's a real shame because it only leads to pain and regret. I read your post about being tempted and that's something that I can totally relate to. But Arantor, the good thing is you didn't give in. You said you considered breaking your own rules, indulging into something you thought was wrong, but you didn't do it, so that's all what matters in the end. It means you're a very strong person.  I believe people who surround you will understand, because they know what you've been through. It's hard to kick an addiction, it's always painful for everyone, the addict and those who surround him, what matters is that you can fight and get away from it. I for one know it's hard when your problems lead you into emotionally hurting other people but the one who actually suffers is yourself - resenting yourself for causing pain to others, for being a real dick to to them and this amount of pain you feel inside seems impossible to destroy and only leads to isolation and you know the rest, I guess. You've made the right move by posting an explanation and I suppose you've done some talking with your close ones. That's a major step towards a brighter situation. Don't let the sun go down on your anger negative feelings.  

I think I can speak on behalf of everyone here by saying: WE LOVE YOU, ARANTOR. And we need you.

I think I can speak on behalf of everyone here by saying: WE LOVE YOU, ARANTOR.

Well, I like you mate, but give me a few beers, dinner, dim the lights and fluff up some slow jams, and you never know lol

I have a feeling my fiancee might have something to say about it...

hahahaaa
Yeah, my 'soon to be' ( shhhhh secret ) fiancee would have a few words and kitchenware to throw in my direction.

I'm not sure if I'd get kitchenware or encouragement though, with 'can I watch?'.... haha

ahahhahaaaaa 

Thanks for all and everything, Arantor. I admired you for the quality of your contributions, never mind the quantity. You often delivered help without knowing it and knew how to deal with sometimes  belligerent postings in a really moderate way. I wish you all the best, wherever you go!

I made a few of my own belligerent posts in my time, and I'm not exactly a saint either... 

I want to thank everyone who has posted here - it reminds me why this forum is so cool; while it is often understated, this is actually an awesome community.

I'm doing my best to take the comments on board, some of them are very profound and ultimately will hopefully stand me in good stead for the future

I set the Arantor:
Few words, direct and objective ....... excellent qualities.
- Congratulations.
Good luck friend.

tks.

Sad to see you go Arantor. You keep impressing me with your availability, your post (spam ) count, etc etc etc...

Sad to see you go Arantor. You keep impressing me with your availability, your post (spam ) count, etc etc etc...

Is amazing what not having a full time job does for availability, as well as insomnia

Aranator,

It was nice having you on the SMF Support team and in the 1 month I was here, you have been my favourite. But of course a lot of good things must come to an end. But .... WOW 3,000 POSTS A MONTH?

Anyways, good luck with your life Aranator

CFCParadox

3,000 a month was an average... 7 for April, under a hundred in May, 2k in June, 1.5k in July, 3.5k in August, and thereafter over 4k a month, just topping 5k for December...

3,000 a month was an average... 7 for April, under a hundred in May, 2k in June, 1.5k in July, 3.5k in August, and thereafter over 4k a month, just topping 5k for December...

Still an amazing job Aranator!

Good luck with whatever you do in the future . You were definitely a great contributor here (I've been away for a while, but I've seen some of your posts)

3,000 a month was an average... 7 for April, under a hundred in May, 2k in June, 1.5k in July, 3.5k in August, and thereafter over 4k a month, just topping 5k for December...

Sounds like how [Unknown] used to post... You might have even posted more than he did per month

Arantor, You were are very helpful to the community at large here and have helped a lot of people. The amount of time and dedication you put into it will sorely be missed but can easily can cause burnout.

If you aren't happy with something then its time to move on. Good luck with your future endeavors.

Shame. I'd felt a bit of a friendship growing, there.... 

as well as insomnia

Very true.

All I hope is that we still get to see you here once in awhile.

Good luck and thank you for the help you provided me.

Thanks, arantor, I will miss you too, whenever I have a problem with my forum, I always expect you to be the first to answer...

...now somone else will take over that job.

I am sad to see you go =>

Thanks for all your great help to me, as well as everyone else on this forum......

I always expect you to be the first to answer...

And that's where the problem came in. I found myself unable to continue living up to that expectation.

At that rate no wonder you had a burnt out Arantor. I have the utmost respect for you, for all the work you did although sometimes I got the feeling that it wasn''t appreciated as it should have. You left a hell of a legacy at Smf. I wish you all the best with whatever projects you will take up next.

You did a great job!!!!  Get a nice rest, we will like to see a cameo from time to time.   

I know I have posted this story over at DP and I must said you are one of the greatest supporter I have ever come across in different forums I have been in. You helped me out much here and point me to the correct direction since I joined the community. Needless to said, just be who you are and your passion to code and help others is what inspired me with your character. You are a legacy in the eyes of many. And always remember... just be who you are and that's all that matters.

Quick note to say - thx for the help you've provided me and other and all the Best.

+EV

Just like everybody said, you will be missed.

You may not be able to post as much you used to, or want to.

But hopefully you can keep your packages updated.

I can keep my packages updated, I now have less than half of all the mods I've done left attached to me (I seem to count 45 released mods, of which 21 are still under my name).

I'm still *able* to post, I just don't have the desire as much

Well good luck with your current projects and hope to see you back as part of the team sometime in the future.

I'm still *able* to post, I just don't have the desire as much

Will it help if I flew to England and stood behind you poking you with a school metre ruler saying "Post" *Pokes* "Post!"

Oh I am posting - just not so much here...

My post is a bit late.  I just want to say thanks for what you've done. 

I do hope you'll return some day.

Looking forward to Simpledesk.

nice,,,,

nice,,,,

Resigning from the team due to burnout is nice?

* Arantor wonders if this isn't a spam account.

Or, even worse, a sockpuppet?

Nah, I doubt this is sockpuppetry. It would be far more likely to troll me if that were the case, hoping I respond and get another warning.

O_O you got warned before?

They obviously don't know the new, improved, mellow Arantor.

Dismal: Yes, yesterday, in reference to http://www.smf-friends.org/index.php?topic=1376.0

Kat: Mellow? Hell no. I've given up trying to sugar coat things, and am loosing my natural sarcastic self, asking impertinent questions and so on. If some don't like that, fine. I will be damned for who I am, not who I end up pretending to me.

Dismal: Yes, yesterday, in reference to http://www.smf-friends.org/index.php?topic=1376.0

Ah, yes. I remember that. Sorry I brought this up. 

Don't apologise. Like I said, let me be damned for who I am.

Don't apologise. Like I said, let me be damned for who I am.

Theirs nothing wrong with being you Arantor.

Don't apologise. Like I said, let me be damned for who I am.

Theirs nothing wrong with being you Arantor.

Unless of course it were, say, Pee Wee Herman being Arantor.  That's just wrong.  Hhhhhhhheh-heh!

Pfft, my secret's out!!

On a related note, I wonder if it is disturbing that I have to use Wikipedia to find out who Pee Wee Herman is.

I don't know him either, but you gotta love Wikipedia knowing everything.

Wikipedia also knows when Clint Eastwood lost his Virginity.

Any search for Pee Wee Herman, on any media, is disturbing.

Haha, he looks like a pedophile

He looks like Rowan Atkinson...


PeeWee, not Arantor.


I didn't know who he was, either.

I definitely don't look like Rowan Atkinson, far too hairy for that.

You, too, huh?

Didn't I post a picture of me a bit back playing with a Lego dragon, showing my mid-back-length hair+bushy beard?

Don't remember seeing that.


You're not my long-lost son, are you?


I have the same attributes.

http://www.simplemachines.org/community/index.php?topic=254037.msg2338785#msg2338785 but no beard then

Mine's a bit fluffier and my beard's seriously bushy, at the mo.


I'll see if I can get the camera to do something...

ummm.....

In hindsight, I don't regret this decision - we're now 3 months on from the post in question, and I'm pleased in a weird sort of way that I did this.

I've been able to say what I feel lately, and some people have shouted that I was offensive, brash, blunt... whatever. I'm still amazed I got on the team in the first place, knowing I carried that anger at people who can't be bothered to learn a little bit about running a website or can't be bothered to do things to help themselves.

Please don't expect any further support from me, I doubt it'll happen, especially with some people making veiled jabs at me in certain places (and you know exactly who you are, 'Friend').

I'd like to go over some ground a few people have asked me about lately.

1. Will I rejoin the team especially the Cust team, as there are hints that mods are taking weeks and weeks to get approved?
Cust team - not a chance. Not only to avoid the burn out mentioned here, but also because I know I'm just going to argue and disagree with certain people on the team, who I disagreed with before more than once and held my tongue more than I should have over it.

Support team? NO way, I'm too fond of being free to say how I feel.

Dev team? Well, funny you should ask. I asked a few weeks ago about helping out with the dev team, not wishing to start looking at any bugs or anything for fear of treading on anyone's toes until I heard back.

I've submitted bug fixes before, some complete, some less so, some... not even looked at after months.

The bit that galls me somewhat? Had I just been given an answer one way or the other, that'd have been fine, we could all move on. Had I even had something that amounted to an official response, that would be something. But the ONLY commentary on it was a conversation via IM in IRC with someone who voiced their personal opinion. The fact I agreed with that is actually irrelevant. I've heard nothing from the folks that make such decisions, not even a simple 'Thanks but no thanks'.

And the more I look around the more I realise that here is increasingly a place I don't want to be. There's some fun people here, sure, and people that need help, but I find I don't want to provide it because all that happens is I end up getting frustrated by it all.

So, if the powers that be in the team do read this, if you had doubts about my dedication, that's fine, but saying something to me about it, or even just acknowledging that it happened would have gone a long way. For those who will inevitably now start the derision about my lack of dedication (and yes I know you're out there), if you'd sent a message offering your time and energy and heard nothing for 2 weeks, I think you'd be similarly irritated, so please consider this withdrawal of said offer. I have better things to do with my time than be kept in limbo as if I'm some dog waiting for a bone.


In a twist of irony, I've been posting in this community a year tomorrow, been a year of ups, downs, highs and lows, and it just seems to be just a series of bum notes, because too many people want things for themselves without any consideration for how others feel, and this extends into the team in many ways.

So, au revoir, have fun, see ya later.

If anyone wants me, I'll be on SimpleDesk.

1. Will I rejoin the team especially the Cust team, as there are hints that mods are taking weeks and weeks to get approved?
Cust team - not a chance. Not only to avoid the burn out mentioned here, but also because I know I'm just going to argue and disagree with certain people on the team, who I disagreed with before more than once and held my tongue more than I should have over it.

Not just mods, damn there has been no theme approved for ages, and there is no-one on cus team are a suitable level to judge a theme everyone is a modder, sorry Nas this includes you, not since i was removed has there been any real theme checking, and the very few that do trickle through have so much wrong with them the team should really close theme site off, damn for amount of mods coming through whats the point on new submissions to  cus site ... dont get me wrong the 2 others who did theme approval when I went grey did a few but even with my friends badge I was still doing alot and helping out, now both them are grey  then themes are dead.

Please don't expect any further support from me, I doubt it'll happen, especially with some people making veiled jabs at me in certain places (and you know exactly who you are, 'Friend').

All my jabs are above the belt, I swear. 

... hope to talk to you soon Arantor. Take care of yourself.

See you around Arantor.

1. Will I rejoin the team especially the Cust team, as there are hints that mods are taking weeks and weeks to get approved?
Cust team - not a chance. Not only to avoid the burn out mentioned here, but also because I know I'm just going to argue and disagree with certain people on the team, who I disagreed with before more than once and held my tongue more than I should have over it.

Not just mods, damn there has been no theme approved for ages, and there is no-one on cus team are a suitable level to judge a theme everyone is a modder, sorry Nas this includes you, not since i was removed has there been any real theme checking, and the very few that do trickle through have so much wrong with them the team should really close theme site off, damn for amount of mods coming through whats the point on new submissions to  cus site ... dont get me wrong the 2 others who did theme approval when I went grey did a few but even with my friends badge I was still doing alot and helping out, now both them are grey  then themes are dead.

Cust. Team has gone to the dogs. I submitted a VERY simple mod a little bit over a month ago. Still nothing on that. Really discourages people from submitting mods. They're not going to get approved for months, regardless of how small, so why bother?

To make matters worse, in the team's time of need, they refuse to recruit certain people that can obviously help out based on an unjust biased opinion. A huge round a applause to the lot of you.

hadesflames why do I agree with most of your posts? haha

By the way, if anyone wants to know, even though the cust. team reviewed one of my mods a bit over a week ago, I have o intention of fixing it or submitting any more. I lack free time, but that factor does not influence my decision. I know there are others who agree with me, past and future authors. Isn't that wonderful?

On that note I will say that we considered not bothering listing SimpleDesk on the mod site at all. We submitted it when it hit RC on 15th March, updated for both RC2 and final subsequently... 2 downloads from the team but I don't see it being approved until we're well on the way to 1.1 (which is a timescale in the 'months' category)

Just another reason I'm not doing more free mods.

hadesflames why do I agree with most of your posts? haha

Great minds think alike? =P

I'm not on the inside.  I can only go on what I've read here and a few other sites.  But a fan of SMF and a user for more than four years now I have to say I'm very disappointed with the direction this site is going.

To the mod writers, and theme creators I want to say thank you.  I see some very knowledgeable and talented people walking away from this place and it breaks my heart.  I really hope that the people in charge will come to their senses and start making decisions for the benefit of SMF.  It seems lately that it has become more about personal disputes than about the project. 

Arantor you have my gratitude and respect for all that you have contributed to this place.  You are an obviously talented individual and the SMF community will suffer as a result of your departure.

On that note I will say that we considered not bothering listing SimpleDesk on the mod site at all. We submitted it when it hit RC on 15th March, updated for both RC2 and final subsequently... 2 downloads from the team but I don't see it being approved until we're well on the way to 1.1 (which is a timescale in the 'months' category)

Well, contrary to my expectations, this was approved last night, so maybe because (or more likely in spite) of my whine here, it's been done - my thanks to the Cust team. However I still do not intend to return to the Cust. team because I doubt it would do either me or the Cust team any good.

Do you believe in second chances? 

Do you believe in second chances? 

Second chances, yes. Third chances... maybe, fourth chances no. We've gone beyond second chances, and given that activity appears to happen in splurges, I have little doubt that if I were to return to Cust team, it would quickly become how it was before I left, with me through whatever causes, doing the bulk of mod approvals again, which I have no desire to do.

nice...